The title of this post, is one of the MANY used sayings we say in AA. Also very true.

In chapter 9 of atomic habits, it did an expansion on one of the previous chapters that made me say “you can’t get better in the same place that made you sick”. Very true. We have to change our environment to get better. Got it. But then he talked about becoming a president or leader of something was more attractive . Something like that personally never made me change.

I didn’t care about sounding important to others. Very much a god complex to me. Like when someone first starts on a spiritual journey and they say My name is Rainn, im the first human pheladian unicorn that knows everything because arc angel Micheal told me in the shower. 🚿 It’s really is okay to not be “important” to others. I really only ever wanted to be important to myself.

All the shit I was doing before, made me hate myself to be honest. I lived like that because it was familiar to me. I was always in fights with my parents. My ex husband demonized me with a smear campaign to make me the bad guy. I accepted it because at the time it matched who I was. But now, I can’t even relate to her.

Who I am now is someone very just with where they stand. What I do isn’t based off a title or anyone’s approval for that matter. If I want red hair one day -like I have now- I ask the boss… ME. If I meet someone who aligns with my past, BLOCK! Yes they still creep in, but I have zero interest of living on that timeline again. I know what it brought. I can sniff out nuanced red flags 🚩 before they’re a thing.

I never cared if someone else saw me and liked me. I just wanted to see me and like me.

Roxy ❤️‍🩹