I do NOT go to sleep at 9:30pm, BUT my phone does go on do not disturb from 9:30pm-8:30am. Lemme explain.

SO, when I first moved back home I had INSANE insomnia. I think because when I was married, I was burnt the fuck out because I was the only one who had todo lists, had to decide what to make for dinner, clean everything, do all the laundry, stress was my middle name. So when I moved in here, I didn’t have to do all that and then some. Cool. But what you don’t realize is all that came to bed with me.

I’d dream about events I’d have to put on. Grind my teeth thinking of all I had to do to keep people from bitching at me. Never once being able to ask what i want from me. All I wanted was rest. And to be appreciated. But when I finally got it, I didn’t know how to deal with it. It’s like a mourning period when you lose a job, you don’t realize it but a lot of what you’re upset about is how the fuck will I be able to be with my own thoughts. I hear ya babe.

It took years of me staying up until 5am while I listened to music and painted, that I learned that I have to set up a world of my own that’s stable. Like every other routine I’ve talked about, I didn’t snap my fingers and it happened. Practice baby, practice.

Here’s what I do:

-I learned to use the sleep alarm on my iPhone to my advantage (it turns off all phones calls, texts, and badges so I take that time to put down my phone and go brush my teeth without being distracted. AND I can set an alarm to wake up to that WONT automatically piss me off!)

-My alarm clock has white noise on it (my thoughts aren’t the same these days but my brain loves to play a song on loop if it’s too quiet. Lately it’s been “Pink Pony Club” which I love, but babe not when I’m facedown in a pillow… I love listening to the thunderstorm! There so many others too)

–I have a wireless light switch for my lamp (there’s nothing like getting cozy in bed only to realize…that damn lights still on… SO I bought a wireless light switch and attached it to the side of my nightstand so all I have to do is slide my hand out of my blanket cocoon a bit to flick it off.)

–I ALWAYS have a fan on ( I don’t care if it’s -2° in my bedroom, I need air to stir and my thoughts to stfu! Ya mean! Plus when I sleep it’s like I swallowed a space heater!)

–Heated Throw (despite what I just said about being a heater myself, hear me out. I use a heated throw at night from my lower back up to my neck. I set it low. I get aches in my neck, back, shoulders and arms when I sleep, but it also gives me a sense of safețy. AND my cat snuggles up too! Win win)

–SLEEP MASKS! (Sounds bougie, but it’s a total game changer. When I sleep, my eyes pop open all night. Why? Hell if I know. Also I can see even the smallest light through my eyelids and that’s enough to wake me up. These block lights and keep my eyes shut waaay more)

–Blackout Curtains (simply because I’m not a rooster 🐓 nor do I plan to be.

–Not a doctor! I take magnesium glycinate and valerian root a few hours before bed (in my mid 30’s I learned that we don’t get the amount of magnesium we need anymore AND magnesium glycinate is great for sleep! So is valerian root!)

–For a particularly rough night, DRINK HOT TEA!!! (I loooove me some hot tea! I call it Tea Time! My favorite was Sleepytime Extra with Valerian Root buuuuut I found out things about it I can’t hang with SO lately I’ve been drinking lavender and chamomile with some honey! 😋🫖)

I can’t just lay there in bed and be like OKAY! TIME FOR SLEEP NOW! 😴 On the contrary, I set myself up for it. Now when my body sees those cues 👆, it starts to wind down. Don’t be a salmon. Learn to surf 😉 Learn your body, and your body will thank you.

Roxy 🏄‍♀️