Let me start by saying, I don’t hate men and I’m not angry. I just simply don’t need them to feel whole.

There’s a point in almost every woman’s life where we are taught by society that we need a partner we can’t do life alone. We’ll get lonely being single. If we hold on long enough, then the right guys will come in and sweep us off our feet. Blah blah blah.

If you’ve read my stuff a while, you’d know I went through a divorce in 2018, and then continued the abuse in other “relationships” there after. I didn’t know the universe was trying to tell me something…

A few years ago I had a married friend of mine on the phone. She expressed jealousy to me, of me. Saying that because I’m single, I can have anyone I want. I told her, that’s sweet I think… but the reason I’m single is because I’m VERY picky. I don’t want just anyone. Little did I know, I’ve just been literally searching for my other half. Not in another person, but within me.

When I met my ex husband in high school, I feel I was frantically searching for me, outside of me. Not the way to go, but whatever. When I finally divorced him, I snapped back to my old ways, and began my search again for my other half. Like I couldn’t possibly be alone. What would I look like to everyone else. Who gives an absolute fuck. Let’s continue.

I believe the universe was trying to get me to find my other half within myself since then. But instead of chillin the fuck out, I would proceed in my haphazard way to find a partner and trying to chisel myself to fit their puzzle, no matter how unhappy it made me. When instead, I should only accept some who wants all of me for who I am. I refuse to look like your ex girlfriend. You don’t like long hair?? Find someone else.

What I’ve learned is for someone to be worthy enough to share my life with me, you must add to mine, and you must want the same from me. I am not here to complete you. You must be complete first. Until then, I do me. Find my room style. Write. Podcast maybe. Take me to the doctors. Pay my own bills. I’ve got me. Go do you. Maybe we’ll cross paths. Maybe not. Just go be.

Roxy 💋